The next 3 lessons motorcycling taught me about life

When I decided to ride, I was in my early 20s, and I knew that I would meet with a lot of resistance from my parents. Now, some of you might say: “You were in your 20s. What does that matter?” Clearly, you don’t know Asian parents! Besides, I was still living at home, while going to school, so I was living under their rules.

But my desire to ride was greater than any concern I had about their disapproval. My desire to ride was greater than any fear I might have had of injury. I just had to make it happen.

So motorcycling taught me that “one day” is today. It taught me to have goals, not dreams. To do one action, take one step, to move closer to that goal. It taught me to not make excuses for why things don’t happen; you have to make them happen.

I’ve had moments over the years where I’ve gone into a corner just a bit too hot, and I’m hard on the brakes, leaning the bike over, and praying that I’ll make it around. Always trying to find the upper limit of my skill, which is usually far below the capability of the machine.

I will say that whenever I ride, I’m always just a bit afraid. There’s nothing like a hobby that could kill you at any moment that’ll keep your adrenaline up! Motorcyling has helped me channel fear into action, to realize that if you’re not feeling a little anxiety, you’re probably too comfortable. You have to challenge yourself, and accept that fear is okay. You can’t let fear stop you.

There’s a common parting phrase used by motorcyclists: “Keep the shiny side up!” There’s an obvious meaning: that you’re wishing your friend a safe ride. But to me there was always a second meaning. You have to stay optimistic. There’s always an upside to things. I don’t mean to be a Little Mary Sunshine and say that you can turn any tragedy into a win just by smiling. But I do think that a positive attitude gets people through life more easily.

When my son was little, we’d play games, and he’d sometimes lose, and he’d get really upset. I would tell him: “Well, happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy that we get to play together, or you can choose to be sad because you lost. So do you want to choose to be happy, or do you want to choose to be sad?” And he would say, crying, his face frowning: “happy…bwaaah!”

We have to coach ourselves into action, out of complacency, into just enough fear to make us feel alive…into happiness.